Busy Spring

I'm working on some journaling and stuff like that today. So, that involves getting on here and writing on my blog.
March was one busy month, inclueding going to the Temple with some of our great friends and out to dinenr afterwards, for Elm anniversery (going to the MTC) and Trying my hand at soapmaking.... I'm hooked, and sure that my second try (next week) will turn out better.
Arilyn got to go to Silver Mountain in Idaho, with Oma, Opa, Rhonda, Julia, Jay, Lainey and Jaxon. They spent 2 night and 3 days playing at the waterpark and sleepingat the hotel. We (Elm, Rhiannon, Alex and I) went up and spent a day with them.
The joy that the girls expressed, was so very catching. How can you not love your kids when they are so very excited and enjoying themself so very much.

We're working on getting our garden ready..... the chicken houses and one of the goat houses got mucked out and the good stuff dumped on the garden plots. We need it tilled in (working on that tomorrow) and the top of my cupboards and my counters are overflowing with started seeds.
My tomatoes have been replotted and I'm so excited to be growing food for my family.

The Joy of Letting Go

You know how people always tell a couple, who are trying to get pregnant "Just relax. Forget about it" Yeah right people..... you try to not think about it, when all you want is to be pregnant.
Well, I've been reading a book on Chinese medicine. And one of the things in there is to let go. Ok, so what are we letting go of? Well, think about what the things that you think define you. You were away the chubby kid, and thought that if you could just be skinny, you'd be happy. Or if you could just be really good in school then everything would be good. So you try desperatly to be something, something other than you (I'm not saying don't do anything abt the weight.... just try to live healthy, don't compensate in some other way).
The book the said to let go!
So I looked at what I was trying so hard to do... and well, it was trying to get pregnant. I thought that if I would just get pregnant, I'd be happy, I'd be complete. I thought that was what I had to be.
Ok, the harder part, letting go. I started praying for help to let go. I realised that I have tow wonderful little girls, that I have carried and given birth to. I LOVE being pregnant, I might be sore and feel icky, but I love it. And the natural high I'm on for 12 hours following the amazing miracle of giving birth.... Well, I have done it twice, I've had the joy of that experience. So letting go.... realizing that I don't NEED to do it again. That being pregnant and giving birth is not what defines me. These things are not what makes me, well me.
It took me a week. And I am now ok with the idea, that if I don't get pregnant agian... that's ok.
I know I will have more kids somehow.... I know I will hold a baby in my arms again, and that that baby will be mine, I just don't know how that baby will get into my arms.
So in the last week, I have held 2 babies, and haven't had the "oh baby" feeling where I amost want to cry because there is a baby in my arms. I held them, and just enjoyed the cute little humans in my arms, and didn't crave them.
And I'm happy dang it all. Everytime I look at my loving, eternal companion, I love him more than I did, when I looked at him 30 sec ago.
I have let go! And I am happy!

Twirling Around the Room

The girls dressed up in their new tutus yesterday.... they twirled all over the room. What joy they bring to my soul. It's amazing how special I feel, to be their mom... to have carried them under my heart, delivered them, and now they are dancing around in utter abandon.

Well, I made it to my due date. And I made it through.

I was a relief when those ballons flew off to Heaven. A feeling of peace settled over me, and I knew everything was ok.

I'm not saying there won't be hard days, but this was a big step in the right direction.

quilted quilts

I found the pictures of Josph's quilt when I had gotten it quilted

I loved the way it turned out.

Baby quilts

I LOVE making babie quilts!!

Last Sunday we went down to Pasco to Elm's sister Sheila's babies blessing

Here is the blanket I made. i finished it on the way down.... binding needed finishing on the back.. good thing my hubby doesn't mind driving, while I sew like crazy.

Here is the quilt!!!

I also embroidered his name on it:

Benjamin Riley Graham

I'll show you some of the others I've made...

This one I did for Adara, Pauline's little girl

I can't find the pictures after they were quilted... I'll add them when I find them

This one was for Joseph, James and Debbie's latest addition

The fabric for this one was from Denmark, Bamse og Kylling. Danish childrens program.

I have so much fun making these quilts. I'm working on one for a friend at Church (she doesn't know) she's due Monday before Thnaksgiving

Then For Yvonne's Baby-boy in February.

And Catherina's Baby in April (gender to be annouced).

Oh the Joy of these little people.

Steps of moving on after loosing a baby

Babies Galore.... Well it seems I'm surrounded by women who are bringing new life into this world. Went to a babyshower yesterday. And i was ok. I thought it would be so much harder (this gal is due 10 days after I would have been). I'm glad that I am able to move on.... I am not "over it" but am moving on.
My body is so out of wack after the miscarriage, that it's not even funny. I've started tating suplements to help my body get into balance again. I finally made it over to a friend who does zoneterapi (Danish for Zoning) and it was amazing how many sore spots i had... I'd ask her what she was working on, and lo and behold if it wasn't something that had been causing problems for me lately (uterus, hip, siatica, back, neck, and, and, and...) I was nice to know that I wasn't just making all of these things up ÜÜÜ
I'm taking supplements and vitamins and drinking herbal teas to help things out. Plus I'm not "trying" to get pregnant, I'm trying to get everything normal again.
I know that we will have more children. I don't know when. I know that I can't pressure the Lord for an answer, but that it will happen. I also know that I should do what I can to get there.
I am greatful for my loving husband, who is there for me whatever we go through here in this life.